A Day in the Life of Phoebe the Pug

Phoebe's Schedule

5:00 AM – Snore. Open eyes when Man yells upstairs for me to go out. Fake sleep. Grumble and moan when he yells again. Go outside. Bark loudly when done so Man can bring me back inside. Go back to sleep.

5:10 AM – Yawn, stretch, look soulfully over at Woman who is getting up at this inhumane hour. Go back to sleep.

5:15 AM – Go downstairs and bang bowl around with head so Woman will get the hint and stop making her coffee and get me breakfast. Have a few bites. Go to Boy’s bedroom door and push door with head and snort. Give up and go upstairs and back to sleep with Girl.

6:15 AM – Growl, bark and attack the blankets when Woman wakes up girl.

6:20 AM – Yelp, growl, bark, whine and spin around like a demon dog when Woman tries to wake up Girl again. Sigh and get up. Pace back and forth making sure to weave in and out of human’s legs. Stay close to human’s legs to keep them warm. Get yelled at when they trip.

6:30 AM – Go downstairs to Boy’s room again. Push door with head repeatedly. When it opens immediately run under Boy’s bed and start eating objects found under bed. Get yelled at.

6:50 AM – Take position on top of sofa staring out window on to street. Observe humans leaving and getting in their car. Bark at them like you don’t know who they are.

7:01 AM – Go back to sleep.

9:00 AM – Get up and eat. Go back to sleep

11:00 AM – Dive bomb unsuspecting cat. Chase cat until she runs upstairs but don’t follow, (too much effort). Go back to sofa. Sleep.

12:00 PM – Sleep. Wake up and bark at falling leaf. Bark at elderly couple taking their walk, bark at cars driving past house – made them go away. Go back to sleep.

2:30 PM – Wake up and jump all over Boy. Lick Boy’s face. Go outside and run circles around front yard. Come back inside. Try and get back into Boy’s room to eat more small objects. Chew on some headphones. Get thrown out of room.

2:45 PM – Mailman arrives. Bark, snort, wail, jump on and off the couch, grab throw pillows with teeth and whip them around. Good – made him go away. Go back to sleep.

3:00 PM – Wake up and greet Girl. Jump on her lap and look in her book bag. Stick head deep in bag and extract tasty items like gum, candy, pencils or paper. Get yelled at. Go back to sleep.

3:15 PM – Wake up and greet Woman. Wag tail and snort. Stand in front of bowl and act like she forgot to feed me. Eat food forgetful Woman puts in bowl. Go back to sleep.

5:00 – 7:00 PM - Nap on sofa. Go in kitchen to see what’s cooking. Sit down and look pathetic . Drink water like I spent the day in the Sahara. Make sure to splash water onto the floor. Go investigate something good in the trash. Get yelled at. Go in bathroom and eat tissues. Go back to sleep.

8:00 PM – Greet Man. Wag tail and snort. Pretend I haven’t eaten to get another snack. Watch big box with lights. Go back to sleep.

9:00 PM – Yawn and stare at humans so they go upstairs to bed. Moan and sigh and walk with head down when being taken outside. Bark when done and race back into house. Jump on unsuspecting cat when she walks by sofa. Get hit in head by cat. Push Boy’s door open with head until door opens. Dive under bed and make lots of scraping and snorting noises. Get picked up and taken out of room. Nap on couch to wait for bedtime.

9:31 PM – Go upstairs to bed. Spread out on side of the bed on Woman's pillow. Look surprised when she moves me. Grunt and sigh and dig around the blankets for a good spot. Spread out and stick paws into human’s eyes, ears and back. Go to Sleep.