My Driveway's in Jail

Yes, I did just say that. It's even in the newspaper.

Actually, it's not my entire driveway, that would be ridiculous! Who's ever heard of an entire driveway going to jail? Well, maybe in Canada - out in the lawless North Country or something, but not here.

To be accurate, it's not even my driveway as much as it's a piece of a of a wall adjacent to my driveway. I live on the bottom of a hill. A retaining wall of paver stones holds up part of my landscaping - my rare collection of poison ivy, poison oak and some pachysandra that got in there somehow.

They arrested my paving stone. And I wasn't even home to see the action. It made the news here in the rollicking non-stop mecca of excitement where I live. The problem is; my paving stone is no longer just a paving stone. It's now evidence. So, it currently

resides in a police station, in a bag, longing for its brother and sister paving stones. Maybe I'll visit it in jail tomorrow.

Here is the article, edited a bit to protect the not-so-innocent.

TEEN ASSAULT SUSPECT LINKED TO GANG: COPS

NEW YORK — Police say that a Village teenager who has been charged with two assaults this month is tied to attempts to organize gang activity in the village.

Dummy 1, 19, was charged Sunday with second-degree assault, weapons possession, criminal mischief and reckless endangerment.

Police say Dummy 1 threw a paving stone through a window at the Hillman Avenue home of Dummy 2, 22. When Dummy 2 pursued Dummy 1, Dummy 2 was stabbed and suffered minor injuries.

Dummy 1 and Random Dummy, 28, of the Village, were both charged with assault in an incident earlier this month.

"We've been having a lot of ongoing issues between Dummies and their friends," said Sgt. Mr. Man, noting there have also been baseball bat fights in the past week.

Dummy 1 was sent to County Jail on $100,000 cash bail and is scheduled to appear Wednesday in Village Court.

Monopoly Go to Jail Card copyright Hasbro.